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There Is No Expiration Date on Your Dreams:

How Age Based Goals and Expectations Set Us Up for Disappointment

Nedra Tawwab

12 Oct 2021
12

I went to Wayne State University in the middle of Detroit. It’s a commuter college, which means most of the students live off campus. The average age of a student must be about 30. At 22 I went to the same school for a graduate program and there were people there who were in their 50s.

One of my good friends was in her 40s. She was a police officer, decided she wanted to stop doing that, and went to school for social work. Another man was a retired engineer who’d decided he wanted to be a social worker.

I never got the impression that there was a limit to what you could do based on your age because I was surrounded by people operating in a space simply because they wanted to be there.

You can start your life as a pilot and end it as an artist if you want to. Just because you didn’t start painting when you were 12 doesn’t mean it’s too late for you. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we create expectations that are assigned to certain ages.

If you find yourself getting stuck in this line of thinking you can reframe your aspirations by:

  1. Setting reasonable goals. Set goals based on where you are in life, because if it’s not reasonable it’s a wish, not a goal.

  2. Starting with a couple of [reasonable] goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You don’t have to tackle everything at the same time.

  3. Giving yourself grace when you don’t meet your goals. Life happens and things don’t always go according to plan.

  4. Removing age limitations from your goals. Don’t use the number, just have your goal.

We can all defy expectations of our age. We don’t have to do anything by the age of ____ unless we want to and have a lifestyle that supports us being able to do that.

  • It’s Your Birthday and You Can Do What You Want To. This article offers four ideas for how to acknowledge and manage your birthday.

  • Unhappy Birthday: How I Conquered the Birthday Blues. Birthdays can be challenging. This article walks you through how to deal with challenging emotions that may arise around your birthday.

  • Older Singles Have Found a New Way to Partner Up: Living Apart. This article explores the concept of “living apart together,” a choice some couples are making to commit to one another without sharing a home.

  • What age related goals have you made in the past? What made you attach that particular age to your goal?

  • How does it feel when you don’t meet age related goals?

  • What would it look like for you to approach your goals in a more expansive way without age limitations?

Did something in this newsletter really speak to you? Leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I receive commissions for purchases made through links for Amazon and Bookshop.

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Comments
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12 comments

  • Karen Kaylor
    After 15 years in social work, battling the cycles of burnout and the mounting pressures to do more with less and with no support from top management, it was time to leave. But leaving was scary; change is terrifying. Social work was my life, my identi…
    See more
    • 32 w
    • Author
      Nedra Tawwab
      There is no time like the present! Happy to hear that you were able to self-assess and find a new and more fulfilling path!
      • 31 w
  • Catty Ordóñez De Durán
    This article is so helpful! I am 58 and a Zumba Instructor teaching students in their 40’s and I have the energy to keep up and do more , sports events , Instagram Lives talking about maintaining mobility and energy up at any age
    thanks for this article !!
    • 32 w
  • Sarah Netah Paxton
    This is most definitely encouraging, but at the same time there are age limits to certain things just due to the body and how it ages/how long it takes to get good at a thing, etc. like I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast as a child, but I’d never been a…
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    • 32 w
    • Author
      Nedra Tawwab
      Becoming an Olympic gymnast definitely becomes a less reasonable goal as you get older lol....but there are so many other goals that you can still accomplish at the young age of 37!
      • 31 w
  • Audacious Hope
    This is encouraging to read and truly it has a lot to do with perspective. After being a hygienist for almost 20 years I decided to go back to study my gift if writing and the arts. Some days I feel foolish as the demographic at the school I attend is…
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    • 20 w
    • Edited
  • Laflin Taylor
    Great much needed encouragement! Thank you!
    • 32 w
  • Silvana Ordoñez
    love this reframing!
    • 32 w
  • Herb N Ana Herbert
    This was for me today! Thank you 🙏 - Ana
    • 32 w
    • Edited
    • Author
      Nedra Tawwab
      Glad to hear! Thanks for following!
      • 31 w
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