I’ve been angry. We all have, and it’s ok for us to feel that way. Anger is an emotion just like any other, and it is important that we allow ourselves to feel what we feel. Sometimes things will really bother you. Someone may really hurt you. In life you may cross paths with people who take advantage of you or mistreat you. This may cause you to feel angry, and that is a totally normal reaction to have. We should not feel embarrassed or feel as though we need to hide being angry.
We have these reactions to our anger because it gets a bad rap in our society, but there’s actually nothing wrong with it. The issue is how we react and how we behave when we are angry. We have a tendency to focus on people who engage in destructive behavior when they are angry, but exploitative anger is not the most common reaction to anger.
So how do you give yourself the space to feel angry and manage it in a healthy way?
You don’t have to hold on to your anger. You can be angry in the moment and then you can let it go.
Be aware of what triggers your anger.
Set boundaries around your interactions with people so that you are less likely to be triggered by the same things again and again.
Get to the root of what is causing your triggers. Maybe those triggers are a sign of some work you need to do on yourself.
Figure out how anger manifests in you, and come up with strategies for managing that.
We can not just ignore our anger. Denying your anger just encourages it. Untreated anger will turn into passive-aggressive behavior. Allowing our anger to fester creates the perfect environment for anger to turn into hate, and that is not ok.
The best thing we can do is be honest about how we are feeling.
Scenes From a Marriage is about a couple who is in transition in their marriage. They are figuring out what is next for them. This show highlights how complicated relationships with ourselves and others can be. You can watch Scenes From a Marriage on HBO.
Do you allow yourself to feel angry? Why or why not?
How does your anger manifest itself?
What are some healthy ways you can express your anger?
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