We love to be self-aware when it’s all good stuff. “I have great eyebrows.” “I am the life of the party.” “I love helping people.” But it is hard for us to acknowledge things like, “I am the person who will always be late.” “My potato salad is not good.”
It is hard to own the parts of ourselves where we don’t excel because in our society we have a tendency to highlight all of the things we’re great at. Just look at social media. Many people’s pages are a highlight reel.
We feel terrible about the things that are not great or celebrated about us. We want everything to be top tier and anything that is not, we feel like it’s a problem we have to fix. But that’s a part of being human. We are flawed. We can’t be great at everything.
We can be good writers and make grammatical errors. We can be great cooks and not know how to make a quiche. We can be great human beings that prefer to donate money over volunteering our time. We don’t have to be good in totality.
So how do we work with those qualities that we don’t necessarily love about ourselves?
1. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge the parts of yourself that are challenging for you to own.
2. Be graceful when other people notice your flaws. You don’t have to disagree. You don’t have to dispute it.
3. Decide if you want to make a change (or not). Everything about you doesn’t have to be something you have to change, shift, fix, overcome, or do better. It’s ok to just be you, and not be a constant self-improvement project.
4. Be mindful of who you are and how it impacts others. There can be aspects of yourself that are damaging to other people. Take care to notice any parts of yourself that may be standing in the way of you building or maintaining healthy relationships.
What I’m Watching
Manifest is a show about a group of people that go missing from a plane for 5 years. Life has moved on without them. When they reappear, they have not aged. For them it has only been minutes. As they try to adjust to all of the changes in their world, they begin to notice they have some unique talents. The show has three seasons and is available to stream on Netflix.
The Link Between Self-Reliance and Well-Being. This article explores how individualistic practices can lead to healthier, happier people.
5 Toxic Behaviors Parents Engage In—Without Realizing It. This article takes a look at unhealthy behaviors parents may perpetuate without realizing the harm.
If you were brave enough to be honest with yourself, what are your worst qualities?
How have your worst qualities impacted your relationships with others and with yourself?
Do you want to improve those things?
Do you want to acknowledge and be honest about who you are?
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