Let’s talk about therapy. I get so many questions around finding the right therapist. Often, people will ask me, “How do I know if it’s a good fit?” That question is so personal. What I think might be a good fit for someone, might not be in their opinion.
Finding a therapist that you like is like finding a shirt that you like. You know how you like things to feel on your skin. You know the way you want the fabric to lay on your frame. It’s based on your preference. I can say something is good, but it doesn’t mean it will be good to you.
Here are some suggestions for finding a therapist that works for you.
1. Try a therapist. Just like with anything else, the best way to find a good therapist is to try a therapist. You won’t know until you give someone a try if they are actually a match for you.
2. Give it some time. Many of us think we have to find the perfect connection immediately. We think if we don’t feel that connection right away that that person can’t help us, but that’s often our nerves trying to talk us out of the process.
3. Be open. Try to maintain a neutral outlook. Sometimes we go into therapy with a negative attitude. Before we even step into our session, we are telling ourselves, “I’m not going to like this.” When we have that attitude, we go into therapy looking for a reason to discredit the whole experience.
4. Prioritize connection over credentials. It is important to find a person who matches with you, but when we look at research around who has the best therapeutic outcomes it tends to be the person who has a good connection with their therapist no matter what their therapeutic orientation is.
Before going into therapy, try some of these affirmations:
My therapist is here to help me.
Therapy can be a helpful process.
My therapist’s education and practice is in alignment with what I need.
It is healthy for me to be vulnerable with my therapist.
Therapy is a safe space.
What is your idea of a good relationship with a therapist?
What do you hope to gain from building a relationship with a therapist?
What are your preconceived ideas about what therapy is like?
Did something in this newsletter really speak to you? Leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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