People Don’t Always Want to Know What You Think:

Early in college a friend of mine came over and said, “I don’t like your shirt.” I didn’t care that she felt that way because she and I didn’t have the same style, but I wondered why she felt the need to say that to me. Sometimes we share our opinions with others without them asking, and without considering whether what we’re sharing is thoughtful, kind, or even necessary.

We don’t have to tell people how we think they should be living their lives. When I go shopping, I don’t like everything in the store. That being said, I don’t leave the store thinking, “They’ll never sell any of this stuff!” Just because I didn’t like it, doesn’t mean no one will. I’m sure someone else will buy the things I wasn’t interested in because we’re all different. Our way is not always the best way. We are all out here practicing, doing the best we can.

So, before you offer feedback, consider who you’re speaking to, and the relationship you have with that person.

When someone is interested in receiving advice from you they:

On the other hand, these behaviors would indicate that someone is not interested in or receptive to your advice:

We need to take the time to think about whether what we’re about to share is actually of value, and not just us imposing what we would do on someone else. This is not to say we can’t ever give anyone advice, but we have to discern when it is appropriate. There are some relationships where there is a reciprocal giving and receiving of advice, where that is welcomed and appreciated, but that is not every relationship.

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